SliderGuide

new feature to SliderGuide... On slow weeks, we will do a special feature section. Today, that feature is called 'This Week In Sliding', a satirical look at the world of skeleton. Enjoy, and don't hesitate to comment.

USBSF seeking next Ex-executive director

Lake Placid, NY - This summer, the search begins for the next Ex-executive director of the United States Bobsled and Skeleton Federation. The position will last 6-12 months or part-time work, and includes a salary of $250,000. Interested candidates do not need a B.A. degree, but a degree in BS is preferred.

Lund Baldness Stunt Backfires, leads to WADA investigation

Montreal, Canada. WADA is investigating the cause of Zach Lund's total loss of hair. The anti-doping agency believes Lund's sudden hair loss is due to the use of "Conpecia" a rare hair-loss stimulant designed to mask the effects of "Propecia", a popular hair growth stimulant. "It's pretty clear to us he's on the juice again", an agency rep told us.

Iran and North Korean form Joint Skeleton Task Force.

Tehran, Iran - A bid for a joint Iranian/North Korean skeleton team caused concern in the FIBT this week . A spokesman for the team told us the partnership would be an "enriching" experience, one that would have many "long-range benefits" in the near future.

Ground Broken on Dolph Lundgren Sliding Center

Moscow, Russia - Russia's latest scheme to get better proved beneficial today, as ground was broken on the Dolph lundgren Sliding Center. The center, named after Rocky IV star and long-time B-actor Lundgren, is slated to open in 2009. However, it will inevitably be postponed after an Aeroflot Jet crashes into the track shortly before opening.

Iraqi Skeleton Requests "Green Zone" at 2010 Games.

Bahgdad, Iraq - In response to the large number of snow balls directed at Iraqi skeleton athletes, the Iraqi Olympic Committee has requested a "green zone" be implemented for the 2010 games. The area will be enforced by a coalition of willing nations, including Poland, Australia, Great Britain, and The United States. A spokesman for the USA told us "We might not be able to help them get down the track alive, but we can make damn sure they win a fight at the top." The green zone will be enforced until it is deemed the Iraqi Skeleton Federation can govern itself.

AND FINALLY....

Huge Heart, Bum Leg, Connect Barbaro and Pikus-Pace

Two incredible athletes shared a final moment this week. 2007 World Champion Noelle Pikus-Pace returned to the top of the skeleton world with a victory in St. Moritz, as Barbaro was put to sleep near Philadelphia. The two share a special connection, - a career-threatening leg injury that cost Noelle an Olympic Berth, Barbaro a shot at the Triple Crown. After an arduous recovery, Pikus-Pace is back on track for gold in 2010. Barbaro, on the other hand, has just signed a lifetime contract with Elmer's Glue.